May I please speak to Mrs. Shella Makarabilla?

11:04 pm - 01.23.03

All of these are REAL conversations that I have had with telemarketers:

"Hi, we're calling from MCI to ask you why is it that you recently switched from MCI to AT&T."
"The devil made me do it." (hang up)

"Hi, we're calling from AT&T. Are you aware that you are paying for long distance you don't use? We can give you a new plan for much cheaper!"
"Does it come with a free dildo?" (hang up)

"Hi, is Ella there?"
"No, I'm sorry, my dog just shit on her face." (hang up)

"Hi, is Mrs. [my last name which I'm not telling you] there?"
"You'll have to call back later, Jesus just ate her and put her in a blender." (hang up)

"Hi, we're calling to talk to you about some great bargains! Could I please speak to an adult?"
"Sure!" (waits a second)
(in obviously fake deep voice) "Yes?"
"Excuse me?"
(in same fake deep voice) "Yes?"
"Um... we're going to have to call you back."

"Hi, we're calling from AT&T to ask you why you switched from AT&T to MCI."
"Could you hold on just a minute?" (walks out to mailbox, gets mail and newspaper, brings garbage toter in)
"Sorry, I'm back."
"Oh, that's okay!"
"I'm not really sure why I switched.. it was cheaper, I guess."
"Well [blah blah blah blah blah, big giant sales pitch]"
"Can you tell me if AT&T offers Friends and Family?"
"Ooh honey let me see!" (eagerly types away)
"Ooh yes! AT&T Friends and Family!"
"Oh good! 'Cuz I've always wanted a little brother!"

maybe you missed:
wau y'all - 05.18.04 homosexuality: the 8th deadly sin - 08.10.03 mommy, mommy, it's stuck - 06.14.03 oh shit - 05.27.03 Oh my gosh, like- don't drink and drive. - 04.30.03