My Big Secret

6:09 am - 08.05.02

I've been hiding something from you all. Something very important. You see, I have a very big secret. A secret that is so strong, I'm scared of it myself. I'm not sure what caused it, or why I can't seem to think about anything besides it. You see...

I'm in love. It has taken me completely by surprise and hijacked everything in me, every brain cell, every fiber of my heart.

Yes, Deborah, I love you. How can I refuse your smiling face? And you have the most endearing nickname.

Little Debbie. That's right, folks, I'm in love with Little Debbie. I mean, who can resist her? With her radiant dimples calling to me from boxes of individually wrapped sugar-filled snack cakes, she has truly become a part of me. Ever since childhood, when I would stare at the pink Be My Valentine cakes in complete awe and wonder how something could be so tasty. Every box (besides those god-awful Star Crunch things - you need to get your name off of those) is filled with love. I've tried the rest (ALDI's version of your Swiss Cake Roll will never measure up) - I'm ready for the best. You've helped me so much. Whenever I was hungry for something sweet, but didn't feel like getting out the ice cream scoop, you were there. Whenever I craved chocolate, you were there. Whenever I wanted a snack but didn't want to open a bag of chips, you were there for me. I know you're not good for me, Deborah, but...

If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

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