Mmm... Poorly Translated German Chocolate.

5:46 pm - 07.28.02

Ok. So I had a pretty fucked up dream last night. I was hungry, so I went to- shit. What store did it reming me of? It reminded me of somewhere. It was like a combination of K-Mart and Hermitage Pottery. And maybe Phar-Mor. Anyways, I was in this genetically spliced hybrid of K-Mart and Phar-Mor or whatever, and I was looking at all of this cereal. Then I heard my cousin's friend Natalie talking really loudly from another aisle about potato chips. I said "FATASS!" and she and my cousin ran away. Then my cousin reappeared and helped me find what I was looking for. I was looking for Sleater-Kinney cereal, and she found it! Their faces looked like caricatures from Cracked magazine, and the song titles were supposedly making fun of them. There were titles like "Battle for the Hot Rock" or something, I don't remember. And then they went to check out, and I had my Sleater-Kinney cereal, and I think they had like gravy-flavored chips. I wanted something chocolate, so I ran back into the aisles and found this huge aisle of foreign foods, mostly chocolate. A bunch of it was German and poorly translated, but I can't remember exactly what they said. Laura came up behind me and she was like, "You better hurry or you'll miss the Northwest Passage." Naturally, I ran to the front of the store, foolishly forgetting everything I had purchased, and hopped on a small boat. I was turning and turning and this big tidal wave was coming really slowly, like it was barely moving, and someone's mother's image kept showing up in the tidal wave saying "I told you so!" Then the wave crashed over us (I'm not quite sure who "us" was) and our boat flipped over. At this point we were like "fuck". I'm not quite sure what happened after this, but we were all in this building with water in it. When the water ran out, we were all dead. Except we weren't really dead, because this was just the series finale for Seinfeld. Apparently Elaine and Kramer and George were with me, but they didn't look like them. Jerry's part of the series finale was going to be later on. Then for a short few seconds we were standing on this beach and I remember my friend Suneil being there but only for that part of time. Then the water started running out and all of the sudden there was a host to the show. I think it was Jeff Probst (from Survivor). Then the water was almost gone and we were all like anticipating death. There were TV cameras and I jumped really really high when I thought I was gonna die, but then I didn't and I just felt stupid. Then it all just kind of went away, and I remember overhearing a conversation.

"Did you see that Seinfeld finale last night? Crazy Kramer and Elaine were yukkin' it up."

"Yeah, but where was Jerry?"

"He's gonna do his part of the finale later."

Then I remember thinking about the Seinfeld finale for a little bit (I was still asleep), and I didn't think the finale was like the one we had filmed but I did remember it being separate for Elaine and Kramer and George, and then Jerry. Even though it really wasn't. Oh well. I think I'm gonna write some more fucked up dreams later.

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